End of life and relationship issues: man wants to be buried next to his father rather than his wife?

Middle aged couple married over 25 years, with mostly grown children. Relationship has lasted in spite of difficulties throughout. Man's father passed away recently (within the past three years). Issues remain between him and surviving (dysfunctional) family in the locale where pops is buried. He wants to be buried next to pops because of his extreme attachment to his memory, a sense of devotion, and 'respect'. Wife does not want to be buried there. She has extreme dislike of mum-in-law (whom she describes as controlling and narcissistic), has unpleasant memories of family situations and visits over the passing years, and does not want to be buried with a family in a city that she does not feel close to. Her own family lives elsewhere. Husband says 'it's my choice' where he wants to be buried and would basically choose getting buried next to pops over his wife. Wife had been of the opinion that if two people spend their lives together they should be buried together. Points out that deceased family members in her (and his) family were buried as husband and wife, unless they died single or as a young child. He is not of a culture that has or uses family crypts. Wife remembers her late dad-in-law fondly but is put off by husband's attitude. She has come to feel that the man she married after all these years in a way never severed the umbilical cord from parents whom she believes withheld affection from him (by blatant favoritism of younger sibling) and is or was forever trying to earn parents' love and respect. She told him that he seems to care more about a deceased person than the living people (his own family in his life. He responded by saying it's because he is closer to death than being alive. He is depressed and has some health issues and obviously is still grieving over loss of his pops but wife thinks this attitude is not healthy. Is she right or is she being selfish?